ode to yellow

13 October 2019

Written by Jada Harris

(a little bit inspired by olivia gatwood's ode to pink)

.....

Having a favorite color doesn't mean
loving everything that looks like sunshine.
It means knowing what it feels like
to feel yellow.

When I accidentally delete everything

I've just written
I feel yellow, which means, that I know 

I can just press the undo button,
that is the convenience of writing this way,
but it's a reminder
that I can take just as often as I create.

Ever since I was little,
my favorite color has always been yellow
Maybe because it was the brightest color 

and maybe
because I wanted the color 

nobody else ever picked,
yellow looked lonely.

Sometimes
when I'm drawing,
the world goes silent even though
I am always passing through music.
It amazes me
that we can focus so intently
on one thing that the rest

seems like a blur.
We do this with people.
We block out so much and don't even know
we are doing it.

Yellow is supposed to be the happiest color and
I am so sorry they always expect you
to smile,
always ask you to cheer them up,
never let you frown, or pause to breathe.
I want yellow for the reason that people think
it represents one single emotion
and happiness is not always bright and there for you
sometimes it is hidden,
as if, anything
is ever one thing.

It doesn't always keep you warm.
In my science class I heard that the sun is
halfway through its life cycle and when it dies
it will suck up our entire solar system,
everything we know
will be pulled into our favorite symbol for yellow
and I've always found yellow to be all consuming.
I've always found yellow to be more
than just sunshine because
we can only be blindsided
by what we thought was good for us
and yellow is my constant steady,
the only thing I know about myself I can rely on.

The first color I always gravitate towards,
the sticky notes I keep in my pocket.
Cold lemonade,
strathmore drawing paper, number two pencils,
school buses, bananas, the moon,
stained fingernails, pasta, sunsets, bruises, advertising, history class,
sunflowers, old streetlights, old books,
yellow like linoleum, yellow like lysol,
Yellow like hunger, like warning signs, like coffee stains,
like the things that betray, like that coldplay song that gets stuck in your head,
like a yield sign that should have been a stop.
Like rush hour traffic, yellow like Sunday,
restless nights, homecoming dresses,
new highlighters, old memories, tired eyes, new year's eve,
yellow,
like my favorite color.